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George is smiling because he is in love. Sue is in love because she is thinking about how much she can hock the ring for meth

Sue is easily the woman that pwned him the hardest. When George went to Las Vegas in the mid 2000's he thought he fell in love with the girl of his dreams. Sue Contratto was a stripper as well as a prostitute with a bad meth habit. In spite of her obvious flaws George was swooned and showered her in all sorts of materialistic bullshit including proposing to her the next day. In a very predictable spin of events Sue disappeared with wedding ring in hand to the nearest pawn shop she could find.

George's Cringy as Fuck Poems

Ode to Sue

"My love, my life, my lady...will I see you again? You are the love of my life...the love that I have begged for, still want and cry for in good times and bad...I'm still longing for my girl. When will I see her face, with her beautiful brown eyes, blonde hair and inviting grin? I see her still dancing and sliding down a pole. Her green and white outfit, that just makes you want her more. With her black boots, just to cover her beautiful legs, with that little scar on her knee. With all the imperfections, I still long to see my beautiful girl with the blonde hair and beautiful body swaying to the music. Her beauty and spark had a way to brighten up a room while her sarcastic wit would keep you wondering...until she put you at ease with her beautiful smile. Now 'til this day I wonder...ponder...thinking about my Sue every minute...every day. A very unique gem and a very talented a rough cut diamond that sparkles in my heart like an eternal flame... Forever I am destined to remain her Guardian Angel. I would move heaven and earth if only I could see her beautiful, enchanting Sue. Does she know that my love is unwaivering... unconditional...undying ??? The very thought of her not in my world makes me blue...empty...non-existent. I hurt and cry like the constant Seattle rain coming down...the dark clouds of restlessness dominating my soul...driving my desire to see my beautiful Sue once more. There can be no sunshine, no tomorrow, no hope without my Sue's love to reach out to me. The flame still burns with the hope of her being back in my life to reach out to me with desire and want and undying love.

For this is my coin in the fountain, the wish that I make as I see a falling star in the night sky...

Until we meet again, I will wait...yearning with a hunger, a thirst that burns like an eternal flame. I know down deep in my heart that I will see her again. We will be together again. Until that day, my heart and love will burn eternal for my beloved Sue.

And forevermore Sue, I will love you !!!


(Elephant Shoe)"

George's Lament

Throughout the years I've endured happy and sad times. Love has come and gone like a revolving door. With the emptiness and hollowness of past loves that cut me like a knife, I've endured. Loneliness has reared it's ugly head once again, for love is no friend of mine. Heartache and despair have conquered me giving me a heart of stone to protect my broken heart from the past and prior heartbreaks. For I ask, "Will I ever be loved the way I want to be or is it meant for me to be heartbroken, lonely, and bitter inside?" Answer looks hazy, but never complete and etched in stone, yet I'm still alone. Love is no friend of mine.

For I'm the best man never the groom. For I'm the friend, but never the lover. I'm the second fiddle, but never the first. I'm the unwanted one, not the chosen, but consume my time with rhyme, song and wit. For god I ask, "Am I the unchosen one and I'm the lost one in the forest looking for my way back home?" For it seems a long and dark haul, I want love just like all the rest. Through my past and my darkness, can it be that I will become first choice or is it the distant shadow of light that further away brings me to this place of confusion and bitter destruction? For love is no friend of mine.

With the winds of change, still confused and wimpered with no light. I'm the pot holder, but not the flower. I'm the chain but not the wheel. I'm the clouds, but not the sunshine. I'm the rock not the fire. I'm the question, but not the answer. For I'm lost without love and I'm drowning in my sorrows, somebody throw me in life preserver so I can swim my way back. For love is no friend of mine, for I was tempted by the queen of diamonds in which I lost and never was loved by the queen of hearts , for who has torn and shattered my heart. So now I wonder and pray for god to show me the light of day and heal my broken unsettling heart. Winds can change, people can come and go, but one thing will never change... that love is no friend of mine.

George as a Forever Alone Faggot

George used to have this creepy pic proudly displayed in his cabinet and on his website

George not getting the hint tried the rest of his vacation trying to find her. George believe that she just had cold feet and would surely change her mind. George would baw about this non-stop on his website including not just one but two poorly written poems that seems like it came from a 13-year-old which makes sense considering his maturity level.Needless to say when this was posted the Something Awful and prank callers pwned him hard with his utter stupidity. George was not amused. In spite of the that he was obviously used, he befriended her Mom (who was shot and killed in 2016). He tried desperately to find her. Hiring private eyes, combing the web (even trying to friend her on Facebook), questioning her friends, etc. It was only after Sue's Mom died that he finally came to the conclusion that it was her fault. As always he has no accountability of how naive he is and instead attacked her on his 2016 radio show basically saying that she turn tricks. It only took George a decade to realize something we all knew about Sue in two minutes.